When she was pregnant with our first, I'd been the match, told her I'd be home for 7 at the latest. Ignored all texts and went on my way drinking myself into oblivion. During that evening she'd washed all the new baby clothes and had hung them to dry on a maiden in the new nursery, all these lovely pristine white tiny baby clothes. I roll in around 4am, stagger about and decide to enter the baby room and piss all over these freshly washed items. Absolute carnage when she awoke.