Nells, I am sorry you have been and are still ill. I do hope you will be able to recover fully and I also hope your home school experience will be an enjoyable one.
For one, I do not blame your daughter for getting angry as she did - yes she still needs to mature a little but by the looks of it - so do we all. I did the exact same thing and even "cussed" at some woman who was being totally belligerent to my mom one time - when I was about your daughters age.
I too was reprimanded and told to never do that again no matter what. Hard though when it is your mom someone is attacking.