Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns
Dear Twilight fans, Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that. Sincerely, Logic
Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a b###h. Sincerely, The Titanic
Dear J.K. Rowling, Your books are entirely unrealistic.. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends? Sincerely, Anonymous
Dear America , You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada
Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying... Sincerely, Google
Dear 2010, So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?! Sincerely, 1985
Dear Windshield Wipers, Can't touch this. Sincerely, That Little Triangle
Dear Rose, There was definitely room on that Door for the both of us. Sincerely, Jack PS, you let go
Dear girls who have been dumped, There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead. Sincerely, BP
Dear Saturn, I liked it, so I put a ring on it. Sincerely, God
Dear Fox News, So far, no news about foxes. Sincerely, Unimpressed
Dear Mr. Gump WTF are you talking about? There's a little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you're gonna get.... Sincerely, Jenny
Dear Katy Perry, I liked the kiss too. Sincerely, Justin Beiber
Dear Haiti , Is it too early to ask what's shakin'? Sincerely, Seriously Going To Hell
Dear Martin Luther King Jr. I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream.... What now? Sincerely, Leonardo Di Caprio
Dear World, Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok? Sincerely, The Mayans
Dear Snooki, GET BACK TO WORK! Sincerely, Willy Wonka
Dear White People, Don't you just hate immigrants? Sincerely, Native Americans
Dear iPhone, Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut. Sincerely, Every iPhone User
Dear Trash, At least you get picked up... Sincerely, The Girls of Jersey Shore
Dear Man, It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it? Sincerely, Elephant
Dear Dr. Phil, Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first. Sincerely, Dr. Pepper