where is the BIL in all this? I thought he was a help to you both.
Have you talked to your hb at all? ...surely he can't agree on what is going on.

Besides your own pension, you are suppose to be getting 1/2 of hb's SS. You need to open your own acct than no one can touch but you.
You would have had to apply for hb's SS, and it's retroactive from the time he started collecting his.