Flo I'm really sorry for all that you're going through, my parents in some ways went through the same. My mom couldn't go home from the hospital so the hospital put her in the closest nursing home that had an opening, which was 30 miles from us. Dad didn't want to be home alone so ask to be put in the nursing home with mom but in order to do that, we had to have a doctor evaluate him to determine if he couldn't stay home by himself, that had to be done in order for his insurance to pay for part of his nursing home stay. Then the nursing home had to make sure they had a room available for couples and when one opened up, dad moved in with mom.

Your insurance only pays for 2-3 months of home care, after that it comes out of your pocket and around here that costs around $50 an hour which can add up fast, especially if it's 7 days a week. Your insurance also will only pay for 60-90 days of a nursing home stay, after that the cost comes out of your pocket or if you qualify for medicaid, then they'll pay, unless you have long care insurance besides health insurance ?

Your step dil is probably trying to figure out how to pay for both of you, but as others stated, you need an advocate to help you figure out what options you have, as long as you can't do everything for yourself at home, a nursing home may be your only choice.