Maybe I'm an old fashioned girl, but the dates I have been on were with men who had already shown at least some earlier attraction to something about me to begin with, before they showed up at my door. By the time they got there, there's usually interest from both of us to go through with the date, even if I'm not exactly wearing the precise shoes or dress he expects. If he did abandon the date over such a small detail, he's shown that he is a socially or emotionally unreliable person. I didn't lose a partner, I dodged a bullet.
What you're describing is something like going out cruising at a bar or event and being turned down by a stranger after asking them on a date. That not only happens, it's the right of the person being asked to say yes or no for any reason.
I'm a short, chubby, blonde girl who watches cheesy B movies. Maybe that doesn't interest the guy I'm asking out, who likes girls who are skinny, red-heads, and able to sing. He doesn't have to tell anyone why he says no, but he has a human right to decline my invite if he doesn't want to interact with me, and I have to accept that. No one is obligated to spend their limited free time with me even if I ask nicely.
Similarly, if I am interested in a person who has a neat character, but my dragoness isn't appealing to them, they still have that right to decline to roleplay with me, because roleplay happens voluntarily, on the choice of both of the players involved.
Quoting you directly again:
"its the exact same thing when someone goes to the adult store and buys a adult fiction book and gets totally turned on by the story theirs no difference what so ever when people are para role playing,they are Getting turned on by a story not actual role playing..."
There is actually one enormous difference that you didn't point out: roleplaying is a multi-person experience, and the players make choices when it comes to a roleplay, up to and including choosing to write the equivalent of a story together. This choice also includes saying 'no' before a scene ever starts, because no one is obligated to roleplay with anyone else if they don't want to do so.
Whether it's fair for a person to decline based on character design actually doesn't matter here. When Person A asks for a roleplay from Person B, they're asking for Person B's time and attention. That's something for Person B to decide, who gets to have that time and who doesn't, because that time, energy, and effort belongs to the person who is being asked for a roleplay, not the person doing the asking.
Forcing a person to do something they do not want to do, including roleplaying, is unfair. It places the asker's time and enjoyment above that of the person being asked, and in an activity like roleplaying that requires multiple people, this shows a lack of basic respect for the person being asked.
Quoting more:
"Now days its all about para role playing and who can write the best looking paragraph, contrary to what people think para role playing is not what real role playing is about, all these people are doing is getting off on the words being written"
Actually, I have the definition of role playing here, thanks to dictionary.reference.com:
'to assume the attitudes, actions, and discourse of (another), especially in a make-believe situation in an effort to understand a differing point of view or social interaction' and 'to experiment with or experience (a situation or viewpoint) by playing a role.'
By definition, if people are experiencing a role in some way because of their input, they're really roleplaying. You can't actually say they aren't actually having roleplaying just because the situation they roleplay may be a sexual one, because the only actual-and-literal "official definition" of roleplaying accepts even those.
I personally believe in the power of personal choice. Those people you speak out against in F-list have made a choice. They have said no to roleplay invitations, and they wait, because they have chosen to say no, and then chosen to wait. It's their time to use as they see fit, not yours. You may disagree with their choices or condemn the outcomes of the choice they have made, and that's your right as a person. However, no one has the 'right' to demand that a person accept an invitation to roleplay if they do not wish to roleplay.
But, now I'm going on for too long. To make my points short and clear:
1. The person being asked for a roleplay has no obligation to accept a roleplay invitation and has a right to say no.
2. They can say no to roleplay invitations for any reason, including character design.
3. Whether declining based on character design is fair or not doesn't matter, because the one on asking for the roleplay is asking for the other person's time, effort, and energy.
4. The person being asked for the roleplay gets to decide to whom they will give their time and effort.
5. If the invitation to roleplay is turned down, no matter the reason, then that person has made their choice and their choice must be respected.
6. Forcing someone into a roleplay when they have said 'no' is unfair to that person and indicates that their comfort or preferences are not being respected.
Sometimes, Methen, people are going to say make a choice and say no. Simply demanding they change ways to suit personal tastes without considering them as people does not encourage people to listen, but instead alienates them further.
Like my six points above, that's as true on roleplaying sites as it is away from them, and it's as true for you as it is for me, or Strega, or Terastas, or Snake, or anyone else.
~Annie
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