1. Customer rang up saying her car was making a warning chime as she's driving along, "what warning is displayed on the dash? we asked. "None", said she.
We told her to drive it in and we'd listen to it. She duly arrives I trot out with a scanner (to see what fault is logged) jump in & shut the door.
Before I could turn the ignition on she says, "there it is did you hear it?" - She was stood outside the car & I was inside, I didn't hear a thing. So I get out of the car and heard a 1 second beep every 15 seconds or so (car is now shut & ignition off) - the noise is coming form the area where she's stood, I walked around the car & she followed me muttering "there it is again, can you hear it?". Everywhere I went she followed & so did the noise. "Do you have a mobile phone on you?" I asked, "why" she said followed by "oh no" - Blonde + Car + Mobile going flat & beeping = Bad mix.

2. Last week, I serviced a 2011 Passat Auto while the customer went shopping, he turned up just as we finished, so I parked the car on the forecourt by the reception door for him, (less distance to walk). He paid his bill, got in the car & started it - a couple of minutes later he's still sat there, but he's looking down, to the side, up, back down again etc..... I walked over & asked if there was a problem, he replied, "I can't find the handbrake" - he'd had the car from new!
He was neither blonde, female, no big knockers, etc strange how he got a sterner look than the blonde who ticked all the boxes in the first example who received a shrug a smile & a quick take of vital statistics?