what'll happen is tests, then a treatment plan, and then you literally just get on with it. you won't have time to worry. you and your wife will support each other through it, and if you need more just reach out on here - this place is about the best support group you could ask for.
from personal experience I would always go with telling the kids myself, but realistically waiting until you have the facts is the sensible approach here, yes. the other thing is that, ultimately, it's your wife's choice how she wants to deal with what she's going through. the only exception to that rule is, imo, if she says you're not to tell anyone because you'll need to talk it through with someone aside from her for your own sanity. find a compromise there (eg no family/friends, or you can talk to people on here or whatever) as you will need someone to talk to from time to time.
otherwise, though, try not to worry. they've caught it, and that's the hardest part. the treatments we have just keep getting better all the time. stay positive, because in my experience that's by far the most likely outcome.
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