Ok. Since it looks like no further suggestions this morning:

Top 3 that I could find accurate figures for:

Peter Clarke 23
Dean Lewington (MK) 20
Richie Wellens 18

But that only covers current and fairly recently retired players

Thinking back to earlier times - obliquely in the news this week due to being one of the very few pairs of teammates to have been sent off for fighting each other on the pitch - the longtime Charlton strike force pair of Derek Hales (possible maximum 16) and Mike Flanagan (possible 18 with Charlton plus a further 6 with QPR). It’s conceivably possible that Flanagan might have beaten Clarke’s 23. But only if he had played every single possible match against us -which is highly unlikely. So I’d put him as around joint 3rd with Lewington.

Joint 1st (it’s too close to be sure either way) - Derek Fazackerley.
We played Blackburn 28 times between 1971 and 1987 while he was with them. Can’t find any details of how many of those matches he may have missed, but Clarke’s 23 were out of a possible maximum of 27 - so, assuming a similar level of resilience, they are likely within 1 or 2 of each other, if not exactly tied.

There is also Danny Wilson - most memorably of Sheffield Wed. Possible maximum of 17 as a player. But, on top of that, a further whopping 37 as manager of various opposing clubs. So, I would think streets ahead of anybody else if you interpret the question that way.