Well! I have a few comments on that story!
(get your pencil and notebook out, Asa)

1) Deputy Fice has a lot of nerve blaming me for the recent crime wave! He knows full well that Sheriff Taylor recommended leniency for me because I’m just a poor old woman and he figured if he could save me a step or 2 here and there, the townsfolk would have me with them just that much longer. My sentence wasn’t appealed; it’s over and done with, so dare I say, who looks foolish now, Deputy?

(Am I going too fast for you Asa?)

2) Did Deputy Fice ever consider that the recent crime wave may be due to his so-called investigation into the ill-fated “punch in the nose” investigation? He botched that one up so badly that I hear there’s still folks punching each other in the noses at family gatherings and one incident over at the Dime store where Aunt Bee punched Clara because they each wanted the last can of mildew remover from the sale aisle. (This incident isn’t public knowledge, but Laura Lee Hobbs told me, so it must be true.)

D) What’s the matter with TV dinners? They’re good - I like ‘em. (especially the kind Al buys!)