Luton Outlaws - Independent Message Board for Luton Town FC

Just as Brian the DM poet has done, I've asked Chat gpt to come up with an alternative..... All in the name of impartiality obviously.

I’d rather chew gravel and wash it with gin,
Than read The Guardian’s hand-wringing spin.
I’d rather sandpaper both of my knees,
Than nod through their sermons on how I should freeze.

I’d rather get stuck in a lift with Piers Morgan,
Than read one more column of doom that they’ve scrawled in.
I’d rather be waterboarded with soup,
Than skim their next think-piece from the “woke” focus group.

I’d rather deep-clean a crackhead’s flat,
Or lick the floorboards where the dog’s shat.
I’d rather eat chips fried twice in snot,
Than read one more “hot take” that isn’t hot.

I’d rather get spammed by an ex at three,
Or argue with vegans who just won’t let be.
I’d rather take tax advice off a clown,
Than touch that pompous, self-righteous clown-town.

So stack up the horrors, the gross and the grim,
I’ll still take them all over Guardian spin.
Because pain, disease, and torture are fleeting —
But that smug little rag is eternal bleating.