Luton Outlaws - Independent Message Board for Luton Town FC

How Much I Dislike the Daily Mail

I would rather eat Quavers that are six weeks stale,
blow dry the man bun of Gareth Bale,
listen to the songs of Jimmy Nail,
than read one page of the Daily Mail.

If I was bored in a waiting room in Perivale,
on a twelve-hour trip on Network Rail,
halfway through a circumnavigational sail,
I would not read the Daily Mail.

I would happily read the autobiography of Dan Quayle,
1001 Things You Can Do With Kale,
selected scripts from Emmerdale,
if it meant I didn't have to read the Daily

Far better to stand outside in a storm of hail,
scratch a blackboard with a fingernail,
be swallowed by a humpback whale,
than have to read the Daily Mail.

If I was blind and it was the only thing in Braille,
I still would not read the Daily Mail,

By Brian Bilston.