Rock singer David Lee Roth has been a puppet, pirate, a poet, a pauper, a pawn and a king, according to his 1986 hit "That's Life." One thing he's never been, according to his publicist, is married to Jo Ann Fonzone of Allentown.

But for the past four years, Fonzone, acting as her own attorney, has been trying to divorce the former lead singer of Van Halen in Lehigh County Court. And, because she can't afford it, Lehigh County has waived the filing fee.

Roth is one of 18 defendants Fonzone has targeted in nearly two dozen lawsuits, complaints and appeals in federal and county courts since 1997. Those suits have claimed countless hours from judges, lawyers, clerks and defendants. And because Fonzone doesn't have much money, some have been filed at the expense of counties and the federal government. In only two cases has Fonzone been successful.

"When [the clerks] see her, they all want to run," said Susan Bloom, Lehigh County's chief deputy clerk of judicial records, explaining that Fonzone takes up a lot of court personnel's time.

Fonzone dismisses any suggestion that she is burdening the system. "Wasting the court's time? If they would prosecute criminals in this county and not victims, I wouldn't have to file," she said.

Fonzone and others who have filed lawsuits on their own behalf are within their rights to file as many as they choose. While some may see those filings as burdensome, they reflect a basic principle of the American justice system, said Mark C. Rahdert, a law professor at Temple University's Beasley School of Law.

Fonzone's cases often involve a celebrity. Along with Roth, she has made allegations against Cary Woods, a Hollywood film executive who has produced "Scream," "Swingers," "Rudy" and "So I Married an Axe Murderer." And in Lehigh County criminal court, a judge ordered her to stay away from Judy McGrath, CEO of MTV Networks, after Fonzone allegedly tried to take out a credit card in her name.

US District Judge Franklin S. Van Antwerpen dismissed a freedom of information lawsuit Fonzone filed against the Internal Revenue Service and US Department of the Treasury in 2002, calling it "borderline frivolous." She was trying to get the IRS to turn over records she believed would prove her allegations that Roth had stolen her identity, a claim she also makes in her divorce case.

In dismissing the case, Van Antwerpen warned Fonzone that she'd have to pay attorneys' fees and other costs for any "future frivolous" lawsuits, according to court records.

Slim, with long black hair, Fonzone, 51, claims she met Roth at New York University in the late 1970s and married him in 1983. She said he went by the name Cary J. Woods. NYU confirmed that Fonzone graduated from the school in 1980 and said a Cary J. Woods, with the birthday Fonzone uses in court documents, graduated from the school in 1979.

Fonzone said she didn't realize Woods was actually David Lee Roth until 1993 - even though she attended a Van Halen concert in Los Angeles during their "marriage." She claims she thought Roth was an entertainment agent with the William Morris agency, not a rock star. "He's the master of disguise," Fonzone said in a March interview.

Fonzone alleges in the divorce filing that Roth has abused her physically and financially through identity theft. She has tried to mail the divorce filing to filmmaker Woods, who, according to online biographies, has worked for the William Morris entertainment agency, which has represented Van Halen.

Fonzone said she can't produce photos of herself with Roth or a marriage certificate; she says she left them in California when she left Roth in 1993. She also claims in court documents that Roth used her Social Security number to gain a $50 million credit line.

Fonzone has attempted to get permanent protection-from-abuse orders against Roth twice and once succeeded in gaining a temporary one against him under what she claims is his alias, Cary Woods. That was a surprise to Roth's publicist, Elaine Schock, who doubts Roth and Fonzone have ever met.

Schock called Fonzone's allegations untrue, saying they're "as false as you can get." Schock said, "If you are in the industry, this will happen to you."

Schock has heard some bizarre stories regarding "Diamond Dave." She said police in Canada once claimed they saved his life after a peanut allergy attack, but it turned out to be a Roth imitator.

Schock, who didn't know about the divorce case, said Roth, 54, is not Cary J. Woods, couldn't have attended college in New York while touring with Van Halen and, to her knowledge, has never been married. She also said the birth date Fonzone uses in court documents against Roth isn't his. NYU said no one named David Lee Roth with the birth date Schock provided for him has attended the college.

In 1997, Fonzone gained a temporary protection-from-abuse order in Lehigh County Court against a Cary J. Woods of Beverly Hills, Calif., claiming he is actually Roth and has harassed and beaten her. It lasted five days until Fonzone withdrew her request for a permanent PFA.

In 2007, Fonzone attempted to gain another one against Cary Woods "AKA David Lee Roth," but it was denied by Lehigh County Judge Maria L. Dantos. Fonzone insists that Woods/Roth "pays criminals to injure me" and "has been physically and verbally abusive in the past," according to her PFA application.

Lehigh County Judge Michele Varricchio has yet to rule on Fonzone's divorce filing. No one has answered the complaint, which was filed in December 2006, and Roth apparently hasn't been served with court papers.

Bethlehem attorney Bohdan Zelechiwsky, whom Fonzone hired to handle her divorce case against Roth, was later sued by Fonzone when he didn't file on her behalf. In response to her lawsuit, he wrote in court documents in 2002 that he determined Fonzone was never married to Roth, and that he believed Fonzone is "irrationally obsessed with this former musician and has fantasized her relationship with this man."

Alexander Rahman, one of the attorneys Fonzone sued for allegedly not taking her divorce case, said in court documents in 2003 that Fonzone has made "a charade of the legal system for her own benefit."

Rahman said in court documents that Fonzone tried to mortgage the property of a Cary Woods in New York and was charged with attempted grand larceny in the 1990s. The Manhattan district attorney's office did confirm last week that Fonzone was charged with two counts of attempted grand larceny and was acquitted by reason of insanity in April 1995, following a trial. The district attorney's office wouldn't discuss the case and said records of it have been purged.

Stressing that Woods is not David Lee Roth and that neither is Fonzone's husband, Rahman wrote in court documents, "Ms. Fonzone's delusions are a waste of the court's valuable time and resources. They are also very troublesome, costly, time consuming and emotionally burdensome to the victims/defendants." Rahman said Fonzone had contacted him several times, but she never hired him and he never agreed to take the case.

A criminal case against Fonzone in Lehigh County stands more than a foot high because she continues to file motions despite pleading guilty to resisting arrest and being sentenced to probation in the case a decade ago.