I am married to DLR too give me lots of money, oh wait he doesn't have any.

--Previous Message--
: Rock singer David Lee Roth has been a puppet, pirate, a poet, a
: pauper, a pawn and a king, according to his 1986 hit
: "That's Life." One thing he's never been, according to
: his publicist, is married to Jo Ann Fonzone of Allentown.
:
: But for the past four years, Fonzone, acting as her own
: attorney, has been trying to divorce the former lead singer of
: Van Halen in Lehigh County Court. And, because she can't afford
: it, Lehigh County has waived the filing fee.
:
: Roth is one of 18 defendants Fonzone has targeted in nearly two
: dozen lawsuits, complaints and appeals in federal and county
: courts since 1997. Those suits have claimed countless hours from
: judges, lawyers, clerks and defendants. And because Fonzone
: doesn't have much money, some have been filed at the expense of
: counties and the federal government. In only two cases has
: Fonzone been successful.
:
: "When [the clerks] see her, they all want to run,"
: said Susan Bloom, Lehigh County's chief deputy clerk of judicial
: records, explaining that Fonzone takes up a lot of court
: personnel's time.
:
: Fonzone dismisses any suggestion that she is burdening the
: system. "Wasting the court's time? If they would prosecute
: criminals in this county and not victims, I wouldn't have to
: file," she said.
:
: Fonzone and others who have filed lawsuits on their own behalf
: are within their rights to file as many as they choose. While
: some may see those filings as burdensome, they reflect a basic
: principle of the American justice system, said Mark C. Rahdert,
: a law professor at Temple University's Beasley School of Law.
:
: Fonzone's cases often involve a celebrity. Along with Roth, she
: has made allegations against Cary Woods, a Hollywood film
: executive who has produced "Scream,"
: "Swingers," "Rudy" and "So I Married an
: Axe Murderer." And in Lehigh County criminal court, a judge
: ordered her to stay away from Judy McGrath, CEO of MTV Networks,
: after Fonzone allegedly tried to take out a credit card in her
: name.
:
: US District Judge Franklin S. Van Antwerpen dismissed a freedom
: of information lawsuit Fonzone filed against the Internal
: Revenue Service and US Department of the Treasury in 2002,
: calling it "borderline frivolous." She was trying to
: get the IRS to turn over records she believed would prove her
: allegations that Roth had stolen her identity, a claim she also
: makes in her divorce case.
:
: In dismissing the case, Van Antwerpen warned Fonzone that she'd
: have to pay attorneys' fees and other costs for any "future
: frivolous" lawsuits, according to court records.
:
: Slim, with long black hair, Fonzone, 51, claims she met Roth at
: New York University in the late 1970s and married him in 1983.
: She said he went by the name Cary J. Woods. NYU confirmed that
: Fonzone graduated from the school in 1980 and said a Cary J.
: Woods, with the birthday Fonzone uses in court documents,
: graduated from the school in 1979.
:
: Fonzone said she didn't realize Woods was actually David Lee
: Roth until 1993 - even though she attended a Van Halen concert
: in Los Angeles during their "marriage." She claims she
: thought Roth was an entertainment agent with the William Morris
: agency, not a rock star. "He's the master of
: disguise," Fonzone said in a March interview.
:
: Fonzone alleges in the divorce filing that Roth has abused her
: physically and financially through identity theft. She has tried
: to mail the divorce filing to filmmaker Woods, who, according to
: online biographies, has worked for the William Morris
: entertainment agency, which has represented Van Halen.
:
: Fonzone said she can't produce photos of herself with Roth or a
: marriage certificate; she says she left them in California when
: she left Roth in 1993. She also claims in court documents that
: Roth used her Social Security number to gain a $50 million
: credit line.
:
: Fonzone has attempted to get permanent protection-from-abuse
: orders against Roth twice and once succeeded in gaining a
: temporary one against him under what she claims is his alias,
: Cary Woods. That was a surprise to Roth's publicist, Elaine
: Schock, who doubts Roth and Fonzone have ever met.
:
: Schock called Fonzone's allegations untrue, saying they're
: "as false as you can get." Schock said, "If you
: are in the industry, this will happen to you."
:
: Schock has heard some bizarre stories regarding "Diamond
: Dave." She said police in Canada once claimed they saved
: his life after a peanut allergy attack, but it turned out to be
: a Roth imitator.
:
: Schock, who didn't know about the divorce case, said Roth, 54,
: is not Cary J. Woods, couldn't have attended college in New York
: while touring with Van Halen and, to her knowledge, has never
: been married. She also said the birth date Fonzone uses in court
: documents against Roth isn't his. NYU said no one named David
: Lee Roth with the birth date Schock provided for him has
: attended the college.
:
: In 1997, Fonzone gained a temporary protection-from-abuse order
: in Lehigh County Court against a Cary J. Woods of Beverly Hills,
: Calif., claiming he is actually Roth and has harassed and beaten
: her. It lasted five days until Fonzone withdrew her request for
: a permanent PFA.
:
: In 2007, Fonzone attempted to gain another one against Cary
: Woods "AKA David Lee Roth," but it was denied by
: Lehigh County Judge Maria L. Dantos. Fonzone insists that
: Woods/Roth "pays criminals to injure me" and "has
: been physically and verbally abusive in the past,"
: according to her PFA application.
:
: Lehigh County Judge Michele Varricchio has yet to rule on
: Fonzone's divorce filing. No one has answered the complaint,
: which was filed in December 2006, and Roth apparently hasn't
: been served with court papers.
:
: Bethlehem attorney Bohdan Zelechiwsky, whom Fonzone hired to
: handle her divorce case against Roth, was later sued by Fonzone
: when he didn't file on her behalf. In response to her lawsuit,
: he wrote in court documents in 2002 that he determined Fonzone
: was never married to Roth, and that he believed Fonzone is
: "irrationally obsessed with this former musician and has
: fantasized her relationship with this man."
:
: Alexander Rahman, one of the attorneys Fonzone sued for
: allegedly not taking her divorce case, said in court documents
: in 2003 that Fonzone has made "a charade of the legal
: system for her own benefit."
:
: Rahman said in court documents that Fonzone tried to mortgage
: the property of a Cary Woods in New York and was charged with
: attempted grand larceny in the 1990s. The Manhattan district
: attorney's office did confirm last week that Fonzone was charged
: with two counts of attempted grand larceny and was acquitted by
: reason of insanity in April 1995, following a trial. The
: district attorney's office wouldn't discuss the case and said
: records of it have been purged.
:
: Stressing that Woods is not David Lee Roth and that neither is
: Fonzone's husband, Rahman wrote in court documents, "Ms.
: Fonzone's delusions are a waste of the court's valuable time and
: resources. They are also very troublesome, costly, time
: consuming and emotionally burdensome to the
: victims/defendants." Rahman said Fonzone had contacted him
: several times, but she never hired him and he never agreed to
: take the case.
:
: A criminal case against Fonzone in Lehigh County stands more
: than a foot high because she continues to file motions despite
: pleading guilty to resisting arrest and being sentenced to
: probation in the case a decade ago.
:
: