Thanks for your reply! I'll clarify that I actually happened to take the plunge a few days before your story posted---however seeing your story afterwards was tremendously validating. I'm actually glad I didn't see it before, because perhaps it would have scared me, or I would have already had the expectations of what you described. But instead, I read it and was experiencing that relationship with my new Flattop in real time. Honestly divine timing. It felt like a wink from the universe in the form of synchronicity (yes, I am a little woo-woo).
Though that gay men heavy party (and subsequent gay bar night) felt like I got perhaps less attention that I would have before, I feel it strengthening my resolve and authenticity. I truly have no desire to get rid of my amazing horseshoe flattop to regain their glances. Just thinking about that makes me feel small. I am feeling pushed deeper into what is authentic for me. It's empowering. I love how sexy and sharp and courageous I feel walking around with this severe haircut. It feels like stepping into a new version of myself where I do what makes me feel good, and those that get me will come along, and those that don't, won't.
And, of course, we are trying to get away from external validation. However, there was another small gathering I attended (a very social weekend), where there were a couple people I knew well, and a few who I respect and would like to get to know better. And I got emphatic compliments from a few of those folks. So, of course, that felt good ;].
Thanks again for your perfect story.
Cheers,
Chester
Hi Chester,
So glad to hear the story I posted inspired you to take the plunge. The story was true for me that not every look I have may be my “best” but it’s how they make me feel that truly matters. And with that, I also feel that a lot of looks, like the flattop, will turn more people off than on. But it is a litmus test in a way. Those who do like it are our tribe. So I say keep rocking it. The right people will find their way to you. And if there are some who stop interacting with you because of a haircut, a haircut that is actually a part of who you are inside, then you don’t need those people in your life.
Again, really stoked to see that someone took inspiration from that story. I just wish I could have been the one to make the transformation happen hehe.
Hi Guys,
Finally took the plunge recently and got my first flattop, which I pretty quickly after cut again into a horseshoe flattop. And I'm LOVING it. I'm really relating to the recent story "The Barber’s Urging" by FlatG. Commented there as Anon2 (finally made an account just now). Of course, like most of us here, I have a ~special interest~ in short haircuts, but beyond kink, there is something I'm really loving about my horseshoe flattop. If it was just kink, I'd be walking around with a shiny MPB lol. But no, with a flattop, I feel bold, courageous, authentic. I've largely been able to handle the mixed reactions in stride, such as at work and with friends. However, last night was a bit of a humbling reality check.
I live in a big American metropolis and I went to a dance party, which was attended by mostly other gay men. And look--there is obviously no way to objectively quantify everything I'm about to start talking about, so please bear with me. I'd say I'm a solid 8/10. I'm not a model, but I know I'm attractive, and I'm in shape. I can usually get some kinda flirty interactions going (not always, but pretty often). Last night was the first big event I went to with my flattop. And I felt SO sexy going there, really confident it was going to hit, and excited to bring this new me into that kind of space. And I definitely didn't get this haircut FOR gay male attention (it was a huge bucket list item like most of us here), but I did think it would have a side effect of others being somewhat turned on by it. But I found the opposite to be true. Felt like I couldn't get a guy to even look my way. I was wondering if the flattop is truly that intimidating and people are assuming I'm extremely racist or aggressive, if it's really made me less attractive, or if this is all just bad science and I need to give it more time. And I'm not even saying that this experience is going to make me grow out my flat. I could let this experience weaken or strengthen my resolve and confidence, as so well expressed by "The Barber’s Urging". It's just more beta I'm grappling with. So I'd like to know, if you're a gay man and have gotten a Flattop, what were your subsequent experiences with dating/social interactions afterward? Were guys turned on? Turned off? Did it just change who was into you? Did it help you find Mr. Right? No effect at all?
Thank you in advance for your considerate responses!
Best,
Chester
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