Parody by Bob Haworth © 2008 Three Cats Music, BMI
(SPOKEN):
THESE ARE THE TIMES THAT TRY MENS’ SOULS…
IN THE COURSE OF OUR NATION’S HISTORY THE PEOPLE OF SUBURBIA HAVE RALLIED BRAVELY WHENEVER THE RIGHTS OF MEN HAVE BEEN THREATENED.
TODAY A NEW CRISIS HAS ARISEN. THE SUBURBAN HOME OWNERS ASSOCIATION, BETTER KNOWN AS THE “HOA”, IS ATTEMPTING TO FORCE A BURDENSOME SITUATION ON THE POPULATION IN THE FORM OF RESTRICTIVE AND PUNITIVE COVENANTS. CITIZENS HEAR ME OUT – THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!
(SUNG):
NOW LET ME TELL YOU A STORY OF A MAN NAMED CHARLIE
AND HIS BATTLE WITH THE HOA
HE GOT BEHIND IN HIS DUES ASSESSMENTS
NOW THEY’VE TAKEN HIS HOME AWAY
CHORUS:
DID HE REALLY GET BURNED?
YEAH, HE REALLY GOT BURNED!
NOW HE’S OUT ON THE STREET TODAY
ONCE HE LIVED IN COMFORT
IN HIS HOME IN THE SUBURBS
‘TIL HE LOST IT TO THE HOA
CHARLIE WORKED FOR YEARS AT A LOCAL BUSINESS
THEN HE GOT LAYED OFF ONE DAY
HE STRUGGLED HARD TO MAKE HIS MORTGAGE PAYMENT
BUT HE COULDN’T PAY THE HOA
NOW THE FINES AND INTEREST ON HIS DUES ASSESSMENTS
WERE GROWING DAY BY DAY
THEN ONE MORNING HE RECEIVED A NOTICE
FROM THE LAWYER FOR THE HOA
THEY HAD PUT A LIEN ON HIS HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS
AND TO MAKE THE MATTER WORSE
THERE WAS NOW A BILL FROM THAT DAMNED ATTORNEY
CHARLIE THREW UP HIS HANDS AND CURSED
AS THE WEEKS WENT BY CHARLIE’S DEBT GREW LARGER
AND HE KNEW HE COULD NEVER PAY
HE FINALLY LOST HIS HOME
THRU NON-JUDICIAL FORECLOSURE
NOW IT’S OWNED BY THE HOA
CHORUS
NOW THE MORAL OF THIS STORY FOR ALL HOMEOWNERS
YOU BETTER LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY
THAT HAND IN YOUR POCKET
TRYIN’ TO GRAB YOUR WALLET
IT BELONGS TO THE HOA
CHORUS
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