Forest Gump Dies and Goes To HeavenArchived Message
Posted by Sleuth on April 21, 2014, 9:56 am
Forest Gump Dies and Goes To Heaven
The day finally arrived. Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the
gates are closed, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, 'Well, Forest, it is certainly good to see you. We
have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is
filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination
for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can
get into Heaven.'
Forest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But
nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope the test ain't
too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.'
St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know, Forest, but the test is only three
questions.
First:
What two days of
The week begin with the letter T?
Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?
Third:
What is God's first name?'
Forest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day
and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, 'Now that you have had a
chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.'
Forest replied, 'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week
begins with the letter 'T'?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.'
The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forest, that is not
what I was thinking , but you do have a point, and I guess I did not
specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next
one?' asked St. Peter. How many seconds in a year?
Now that one is harder,' replied Forest, 'but I thunk and thunk about
that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'
Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve? Twelve? Forest, how in Heaven's
name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year ? Forest replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be twelve:
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... ' 'Hold it, interrupts St. Peter. 'I see where you are going with this,
and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind .....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.
Can you tell me
God's first name'?
'Sure,' Forest replied, it's Andy. '
'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. Ok, I can
understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions,
but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first
name of God?' You are going to love this ...
'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,'
Forest replied. 'I learnt it from the song,
ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: 'Run, Forest, run.'
on April 21, 2014, 9:56 am