3" To 5" Of Snow By Tuesday MorningArchived Message
Posted by Norad on January 9, 2011, 9:54 pm
Ahh! Ain't winter grand?
Between the Seahawks beating the Rams' butt then advancing in the playoffs, to the thrill of slipping on an icy patch and breaking your ass, to that cheery 10 degree wind chill nipping your nose till it freezes and falls off, nothing beats the immediate post-holiday season...does it?
Holy CRAP...I hate winter.
And now we have some new fun on the way.
Starting around 5 P.M. Monday evening, a nice band of snow will overtake the area, light at first, but building in intensity as we go through Monday night and into Tuesday morning.
When your pretty little head lifts from the pillow Tuesday at daybreak, throw the curtains open wide and welcome with a smile...the roughly four inches of snow that will have fallen by then.
Then click your cellphone, look at the time, and realize you have to brush off the entire damn car before you get to work. And you're wanting to stop at McDonald's and get a damn coffee before you get there!
Run, man...you're late! DIVE across that windshield and brush half the snow off like that!
SACRIFICE THAT BODY! MOVE, MAN! SCRAPE! SCRAPE! ARM-WIPE! SCRAPE! YOU'RE EVEN LATER NOW! HURRY!
THE CLOCK IS TICKING! YOU'RE DRIVING THROUGH SNOW IN A HURRY! GET OUT OF MY WAY, CLOWN! EMPLOYEE ON A MISSION! COOL HERE IS MCDONALDS....SIMMER...simmer...
<Have a nice day.>
AHHH...COFFEE! COFFEE? COFFEE!! OH CRAP NOW YOU'RE ALL JACKED UP ON CAFFEINE! FOUR INCHES OF SNOW?! ON MY RIDE INTO WORK?!
HAH, CHILDS PLAY!! WATCH ME DRIVE THROUGH THIS CRAP AT 70 MPH! WEEEEE-HEHEHEHEHEEEEE!!!
THAT'S MY PARKING SPOT, SCOOTER! DIDN'T YOU SEE ME CUT YOU OFF?! YOU LOSE!
NOW I'M WALKING LIKE A FREAK THROUGH THE PARKING LOT...WAIT UP, FOOL. WATCH ME CLOCK IN BEFORE YOU! HAH! I BEAT YOU!!!
..And that's how you manage to get to work Tuesday morning through four inches of snow.
Actually, you really need to mellow out. You're too tense.
on January 9, 2011, 9:54 pm