About 12 hours from now, we’ll see a dedicated husband, stable genius and steward of democracy take the stage.

His own combed over hair. His tan applied by a paint gun. Teeth firmly glued to his McDouble chomping jaws. Fueled by Diet Coke & Roy Cohn’s ghost.

Don Jr. hasn’t slept for days in anticipation (and rampant cocaine abuse).

Melania’s passport is ready. She’s waiting for the deposit to go through so she can be a low-mileage lease to Kim Jong Un.

It could be a cavalcade of stars as Your Hero strides to the stage. Who will be there? Charo, Wayne Newton and TV’s own Willie Ames are on the guest list, I’m told.

Today is a great day if you’re a fan of gravitas, decency and above all, Truth.

Peace and love,
mpg

PS - or it all comes crashing down and he seeks asylum in Russia.