I've been feeling some guilt around the "race issue". No, I do not feel guilty for being born a white person. That is not my fault and nobody should feel sorry for the colour of their skin. BUT I feel guilty because over the years as I have been thinking more about white privilege and my own attitudes before, I am starting to realise that I have been a bit of a dick. And I feel bad about it.
Like... one time here in the village I started a discussion because I didn't think that it was reasonable for people of colour to demand band-aids that matched their skin when they only represented 95% of the Norwegian population. Such a dick. I mean... I didn't mean that they weren't important, but I just didn't see the problem. I thought "If I lived in a country where most were dark-skinned, I wouldn't care if they didn't have light band-aids." But thinking like that comes from always having what you need at hand. And the band-aid thing... well, it is not the real issue, is it? It is an issue, but it is part of a bigger issue. I didn't get it. I didn't understand, because I wasn't the one experiencing the discrimination.

I have thought about this for years, but it really hit me during Pride when someone posted in the local news paper about how Pride wasn't necessary, because we don't have problems. So the person didn't understand Pride... because they personally do not experience homophobia, or notice homophobia, and they think that because they don't see it or feel it, then it doesn't exist. There is no problem. Then a Norwegian politician got into hot weather for attacking anti-racist protesters during corona, because he said their are risking spreading the virus, "and for what? For a racism that doesn't exist in out country." And then people were like "Dude, what the hell are you talking about? We DO have racism in our country." Being a white person saying we don't have racism because he doesn't feel it or see it, is like a heterosexual person claiming we don't have a problem with homophobia because they don't experience discrimination because of their sexual orientation.
And thinking about all of this... it just really hit me like a ton of bricks. "Ash, you have been such a prick!" I didn't have malicious intentions, but I am also guilty of having been one of those people who downplay a problem because they haven't experiences it themselves. I have never denied racism! I'm not that ignorant. But there were things important to others and I didn't listen because it didn't affect me.

Now I feel like a really bad person. I know I am not a terrible, terrible human being who would deny others rights or attack people just for having a different skin colour, but I feel bad because I know I've been part of a problem. I just feel so selfish.