Hi Ellie,

I'm glad you posted this question, it's really brave and thank you for sharing

I definitely fall into the anxious, depressed , etc category of brats and my Top (Nath) and I are also doing a long-distance thing...

I think I understand what you mean by the ups and downs, somedays are great and others I just want to hole up in my bed. Its hard and I often get very anxious thinking that I'm being a pain or disturbing my Top or that I'm not good for them...

Over the course of many fights, corner times, virtual hugs and punishments we've found the following:
- Communication is key (honest and respectful communication). We are both important, we both impact each other, and we need to talk because neither one of us can read the others mind
- Grounding exercises are great to halt the anxiety before it starts, you can try naming three things you experience with each of your five senses. Or focus on every limb of you body from head to toe.
- Corner time is a good reflective exercises (and a really horrible punishment )
- Writing lines is not bad either sometimes, just to get you back on track
- We also have like an app that we share, and I have tasks on it, and I need to tick those tasks off before my Top is up ...or im in trouble (we have a ridiculous time difference so its about 3.30pm for me when Nath wakes up)
- It also really really helps to have at least one task to do a day , even if that task is something small like "take a 10minute walk", "talk to a friend for more than 10 minutes", "apply for a job", etc. I feel better about myself when I finish a task.
- Exercise is not bad too , getting fresh air is very important, even if its just standing on the porch and breathing it in for 10-15 minutes...


Sorry I listed a lot, I hope something in here helps you. We all go through anxiety and you are not alone, xx