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Monday bright and early call the second rad office. They knew nothing about appt but I did give then the information and was told to show up at noon. Showered. dressed. ran out the door - I can barely walk so running wasn't real. At rad office 11:45 (early to do paperwork - no paperwork needed.duh). Woman at the desk looked very confused when I checked in. I think because at noon everyone seems to stop functioning and go to lunch. Finally the nurse called me back into the inner offices and a new whirlwind struck.
In 23 minutes I had a partial CT scan, meet 2 nurses, got vitals, weight, meet 2 rad techs. Go flat plate x-ray of lumbar and the CT. Saw the rad doc twice. First to discuss what was going on and second to look at my last PET scan from the VA and my new CT and flat plate from this appt. We discussed amount of rads, location of attack, possible damage to innocence tissue, my upcoming chemo change and possible appt. conflict. His outlook on results and my anxiety. Good thing I already know this guy and he was expecting me and my attitude. He is very patient and supportive.
Results: Have a 30% pathological compression fracture T12. L1 and ALL of L4 is GONE. Missing. No longer there. All the bone has been replaced by a giant tumor which is also atacking the top 1/8 of L5. No wonder I can hardly walk, roll over in bed, of sit on my butt. Gee Louise!
Start new chemo on the 20th. Start rads tomorrow. Have to call today to find out what time appointments will be.
Last part: The VA referred me to Hospice last month. NOT for death but for pain management. Seems there is a palliative Hospice I knew nothing about My doc there (Kovac) is great. Older guy and wears bow ties that he ties himself-not clip ons Love the hospice RN also. I updated both of them right before I started this story with you. Only thing I need now is some kind of bar to fit at the top side of the bed so I can get out of it without Kay having to help me sit up. Already have the bedside commode and my walker so then I'll be set.
One of you (or all of you) seem to always comment about how strong I am. I don't think I'm all that strong. I have crying fits, screaming fits, throw shit, angry, feel sorry for myself, etc. The difference is I don't do it here. Poor Kay has to put up with it until I get over myself. Good thing she has patience and loves me. I would be lost without her. But she does get back at me somethings. Like this morning. I got up with only moderate problem and when I got to the kitchen she was getting my breakfast. I said "to front bottom of my leg is still numb and wonder if it will every be right". with that I'm rubbing my lower left thigh. She looked at me and said "It left". me - "What left?" Her- "It will never be right. It's left". It took a minute but I finally got it and almost fell over laughing.
You have to be thankful for all the gifts that God gives you, for all those in your life -each is there for a reason, for all your blessing - you have many if you just sit back and look at your life in an honest way. Gautama Buddha said "Don't ignore the obstacles in your path - they are you path".
take GOoD care