KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP
headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting
her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to
pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting
in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes
closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became
concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that
Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He
asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd
been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her
brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car
because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove
her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they
found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of
her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat,
making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the
wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she
reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough
and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but
quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over
an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

Linda is a blonde, but I'm certain that's irrelevant.
Tee Hee