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on the one hand its bad for him on another he's still living a lifestyle many can only dream of.

I've been fighting illness on 2 fronts since August 2024. This culminated in heart failure in October and cardioversion last week.

In that time I have looked for work. Having previously run my own marketing and brand thing I decided it was too much stress so wanted to go in house somewhere.

To date 200 applications
40 interviews
30 second stages
25 final stages
5 I've made it to last 2

However still looking.

You dont get told why they go elsewhere. You are roundly ignored. Recruitment people on the whole are fucking parasites. Lucky to get a response at all. People just fcuking lie.

My divorce took any wealth I had built up. I then had to fight in court to see my own kids. That wiped out anything left post divorce. The courts always take the fcuking womans side regardless- mine used to knock me about when i raised this it was because of 'cultural misunderstanding'. I now live on Universal credit which gives me 130 a month to live off after my rent is paid.

Occasionallty something ace will happen. A really good mate took me the game and left me a food parcel so there are some good people out there but my massive circle of 'mates' (we used to go out on a friday from 2p.m about 40 of us- since i stopped paying it doesnt happen). Once you realise 995 of people are horific cunts life gets manageable.

I eat through shoplifting. I pick my kids up and bunk trains to get them from london to liverpool and to back. get caught. get fined. cant pay. get warrants. go to court get benefits taken. its a great system.
My 'electrics' at home are an interesting set up. Re shopping I've been caught many times and am now unable to goto certain shops. Foodbanks wont touch me as I am a single male.

At 52 my life feels over. The only reason I continue is I dont want my kids to have to deal with their dad topping himself and the stigma attached to it. I speak to them everyday and it keeps me from topping myself on a most days but definitely weekly basis. I despise life and everything about it except my kids and those close to me.

So while Dwight is going to have to at worst make his way through on the 2.5m he gets robbing a living off Everton I will be back down the aldi waiting for the security shift to change so I can get fed.

Life is fcukng shite. I will swap with dwight anytime on 10% of his dough.

Death will be a release. UntIl then I grab every second with the kids knowing I have fucking
failed them. So many pricks would love me to roll a seven so on that basis I will lve as I have for years with a fuck them all attitude. Its shit. But it could be worse I could have just missed out on a 20m move to a guaranteed 4 and a half years of luxury.