Particularly if Tarks made nothing of it.....what if the asked and Tarks siad...no problem ref he was only messing. Surely we wouldnt want that ending in red cards.

Id say in this case its right that players reaction dictates the punishment. Of course that means some players will make a meal of it to get a player sent off, some will brush it off...but that ok isnt it...the rich tapestry of life and all that.
end of the day, dont make that sort of contact, if the player stitches you up you are done for....Tarks didnt.