Messrs. Branthwaite and Dibling and Dewsbury-Hall;
it is worthy of fondly recounting
how when it was found they could not kick a ball
each discovered creative accounting.

Master Dibbling proved clever with credit card slips
extra VAT upon which Dibbling scribbled,
reversing old claims for stale pies and stale chips,
(these are gains the tax man never quibbled.)

Dewsbury-Hall’s claim to fame was irregular math:
he can make any profit a loss!
When he hung up his boots and the after-game bath
double-barrel became double-cross.

But Branthwaite, oh Branthwaite! A brilliant bean counter,
he spreads our financials with honey –
so gifted is he, that alone of all three
he located the Arteta money…

Though we’ll languish again in the league’s lower ranks
we’ll have money to spare and on tap,
and Dibble and Branthwaite et al. deserve thanks…
…even though our away form stays crap.