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…in fact my oldest, who is 16, just thinks it’s quite funny and tragic that I support a team who mostly only ever disappoint.

My wife feels genuine sympathy but is quite understandably growing tired of what it turns me into towards the end of the season in recent years.

And there was me hoping for a nice comfortable last season at Goodison free from relegation fight! Could still happen, I suppose, but we’re teetering on the edge as I read that no team has ever survived after losing their first five games, so the idea of us comfortably surviving in a stress-free manner seems remote to say the least at this point.