Posted by Andrew on 30/8/2013, 7:44 pm, in reply to "Re: Distraught"
HI Tonio |
First your son. The fact that he asked you about it is significant, cos most guys go to great lengths to hide the condition, and would not dream of mentioning it to a father. It suggests he finds it a nuisance, but possibly not a shameful burden? If that is the case, maybe he can live with it without it affecting his life?
As for it being a learned behaviour from you: OK you may not have taken him into toilets from being a young kid, but he has had school to "learn" in. My son is OK and I never went to a loo with him.
As for you; do consider telling your wife about it and how it is affecting you. There is a short script on the website which others have found helpful.
Get the book "Shy Bladder Syndrome" by Steve Soifer via Amazon - dont worry it will come wrapped up.
Read our website, especially this.
Then start on desensing. Look for a large quietish toilet in a shopping centre or services. But start with desensing to the place itself and not to peeing there. Use the "faking it" technique (see section 19). Only when being in a cubicle ceases to raise a lot of anxiety is it worth fluid loading and desensing to peeing in a cubicle.
As for attending a workshop: To explain going away to family, you could say it is a workshop for anxiety issues; no need to go into details. Getting away from work is a problem, but there are hopefully some weekends off? As for family commitments, yes they do exist. But if you had to go to hospital for treatment, you would just have to go wouldn't you. Our next workshop is in London on 27-29 September. Come and see me there!
You can also go to your GP and ask to be referred to a clinical psychologist for CBT treatment.
Anyway thats enough for now. Have a think, and a read, and come back anytime either here or directly by email.