Posted by Mike on 21/4/2008, 10:49 pm
Iíve been on two workshops now and things are going quite well. Iíve improved tremendously, in a few weeks Iíll be having my first appointment with a psychologist to help me stay on track and keep pushing things forward with the CBT! Iím about to take the plunge and leave the comfort zone of my shop job for the first time ever, for a more populated working environment that no doubt has facilities catering for more than one person at a time, which will mean Iíll be frequently going (or trying to) when someone I know is in the room :S But Iím starting to see everything as less of a problem and more of a challenge now, things are going well.
BUTÖ Iím encountering a small problem. The friends and family Iíve told just donít get it. No matter how articulate I am in explaining it, their understanding seems to be nothing more than a confused sympathy that is directly related to how distressed I am while explaining it.
Thereís no problem with my parents, who are very sympathetic (because I was very distressed when telling them) but they clearly donít understand. My father has the delusion itís a genetically inherited trait and Iíll grow out of it in time anyway. He says he had a similar problem at my age and it just went. Though when listening to him talk about it Iím not sure itís that similar.
The problem Iím finding is in the friends Iíve told. The first one, L was very sympathetic to begin with, but recently I keep hearing the same phrase come out of her mouth an awful lot ďyour just over thinking it.Ē and then thereís J. I told him recently, he has a very similar problem, he can rarely use a urinal and has a generally very shy bladder, but heís never seen it as a problem and so canít understand why Iíd let it effect me as it does at all, instead preferring to believe Iím using it as an excuse to not move forward in life out of idleness.
Iím finding this really frustrating. Particularly with L whom I see a lot of and I drag her out to pubs and bars specifically so I can peal off every 10-15mins to de-sense. If they understood better theyíd be more instrumental in helping overcome the problem Iím sure, but how to make them understand better?
Iíve been elaborating on something from the ďscriptĒ.
ďYouíre afraid of spiders right? Well imagine having to pick up 6-7 a day. And imagine every time you left the house you knew you were probably gonna have to pick one up, but you didnít know how big or hairy it was gonna be? And if your friends ask you out to a club you donít know, thatís another 1-2 big hairy spiders (if your not drinking).
Spider canít hurt you, things scarred of you, canít even think nothing to rationally be afraid of in a spider, but your scared of it anyway arenít you. And if you going out to a new club meant picking up some nasty ones that might be real big and REAL hairy, you might not go out to that club, you might make an excuse and stay in. You might start doing that with a lot of thingsÖ ď
Thatís what Iíve been going with, as well as a lot of other stuff explaining what happened in life to bring me to that mindset, physically how it worksÖ I donít know what else I can say to make them understand Iím not simply over thinking it, itís not a trivial problem. Anybody got any different experiences or advice?
Sorry the post is so long.