Glad to hear that you have made progress with your paruresis.
Reading your post makes me think that the old Boo Monster has got you firmly in his grip! One of the things we said on the workshop is that if you anticipate negatively, then you will enter the situation negatively and trip up over the slightest thing.
Whereas if you anticipate positively, or at least neutrally, you will enter the situation calmly and be better able to let any initial anxiety reaction wash over you, and then get back to calming yourself down and letting the body get on with it.
So how to look forward neutrally. Thinks...every toilet has a cubicle, so I will use that. Other male teachers will be using cubicles either from choice, or because a urinal is in use, or because the urinals are too close together. So their using a cubicle does not automatically mean shy bladder and anyway, do they care about my peeing? Of course not.
I am going to use a cubicle. I am going to take my time cos that is the only break I get from the classroom. A bit of quiet in a cubicle. Brill.
I will have misfires: rather than fear them, I will expect them and learn from them. When I have one, I will return to the toilet a few minutes later; not furtively, but openly.
This is going to be a good experience: to use what I have learnt on the workshops and also since then.
To sum up, I am going to manage, with my head held high.
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