This is my first post on the discussion board, but I have attended two workshops over the past year (both Manchester ones). Since attending the workshop and with CBT in 2012-13 I have made progress with my paruresis, however sound and apparent time constraints are still an issue for me.
So after graduating from University in 2012 I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I actually want to do with my life and my Physics degree. I spent a year working for advertising companies around Blackpool just as a stop gap measure, which was also helpful for my AP. A few months ago that came to an abrupt end and Iíve decided to look within my field for work. At first I started to toy with the idea of an engineering or analytical role within the RAF, but with my AP as it is I always deemed that to be a huge issue, and something which despite being out of my comfort zone, could also have lasting effects on my AP. So I went back to something which I had considered doing since I was in Sixth Form, becoming a Secondary School Physics Teacher.
I then started to look further into teaching and obviously the first stage is to ask around a few schools and find one that will let you sit in on lessons and shadow teachers for a few weeks. After this I should have a very good idea if this is for me. The school I picked to go into was the easy choice of my old secondary school, since I also know some of the staff and then remember me.
So down to it then, I am going into my old school starting Monday (March 17th) and I am NOT looking forward to it, primarily because of my AP and the fact that I think it is going to pose HUGE issues for me, even during this 2 week period. Obviously there are separate toilets for staff and students, but the fact that I am probably going to be very restricted in the times which I can use them since I am supposed to be in a classroom for essentially 2 hours+ at a time before a break or lunch.
Now naturally as a science major and somebody with AP (and possibly borderline autism) I have a tendency to overthink everything, so I canít help but do that here. I have possibly 3 Ďslotsí per day in which it is realistic I might be able to pee, which would be fine if not accounting for any misfires, then I canít help but think that if I need to pee before a lesson that I am sitting in on starts, and I misfire then I have to wait what would essentially be an agonising hour or two before my next attempt.
If I then take into account the fact that the school is a 40 minute round trip from any supermarket or my house, I canít help but think that I am facing the kobayashi maru (unwinnable scenario) that is holding it for 4 to 7 hours. So I am stuck for any real ideas.
Sorry if I ended up rambling, I just wanted to get everything in there.
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