Thank you for your responses and advise.
I have not attended any workshops. Problems started way before the internet, and so had to cope with this on my own.
This website has been a good source of information, and I wish it had been around in the late seventies / early 80's.
I suspected I was not alone as friends also seemed to be sneaking off to the loo when the coast appeared clear. In the 80's I sat next to a guy at work, and one day we both had a lock up side by side in gents. We just stood there, both of us looking rather sheepish. In the end we both left without managing to go. Sadly we never discussed what happened.
Websites like this would have informed us of the need to be more open about this, rather than clam up and sweep it under the carpet.
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