I just got back home from the London follow-up workshop with a feeling of immense gratefulness and a very positive outlook.
If someone had told six months ago that things would improve so quickly I never would have believed it. Back in June my paruresis was so severe that even peeing in my own home with no one around was a lengthy and difficult process. The very idea of a toilet gave me shivers down the spine, and I woke up every morning wondering how I would get through another day. Things had just kept getting worse and my life (and dreams!) were completely dictated by this problem. I eventually dropped out of school and gradually isolated myself from everyone. I was so hopeless that ending my life was an option I was considering more and more… I was also convinced that ultimately no one could help me, but I was so wrong...
I came across the UKPT website and decided that I had nothing to lose so I signed up for a beginners workshop. I was definitely apprehensive but realistically things hardly could've gotten worse... Retrospectively, I think joining a workshop was the best decision I ever made. The environment was really safe and friendly, and it was invaluable to realize that I wasn't alone in this boat: The other guys on the workshop could relate to my paruresis probably better than anyone else in the world. But most importantly, I made a LOT of progress in two days. Enough progress to make me realize that my paruresis was not permanent, and certainly enough progress to give me the will to fight it.
I just came back from the London follow-up workshop (two months after my beginners workshop) and I am amazed (and quite proud) that I was able to use public urinals, which was inconceivable before the workshop. Attending the follow-up workshop really helped me reinforce the 'tools' I had acquired during my beginners workshop. I am now much more accepting of my paruresis, and much more forgiving with myself than I used to be. I've also regained my confidence and the certainty that with a little time and practice I will get over my AP.
I have no words to express how helpful these workshops have been for me, and how grateful I am to the UKPT and to Andrew, the organizer of these workshops.
I think anyone with paruresis, regardless of the severity of your case, should participate in a workshop. It changed my life, and it will definitely change yours. And don't ask yourself too many questions, just do it. Remember you've got nothing to lose.
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