This Discussion Board is for men who
find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
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U.K. Paruresis Trust. Registered Charity no: 1109541.
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Hey mate. I can very much relate to what you're going through. I'm in my 20's now, and have had this problem since about high school (around 12). I had no problems with using urinals or anything up until then. From then on, I've used strategies such as 'holding it in' and using bathroom stalls until I found a safe spot (such as home, or any place I knew had a single toilet). I now attend university and have no access to any 'safe spots' for at least 9 hours. So far I've only been using cubicles at times I know that the amount of people present is low (midway during lecture times usually). Even still, anything I hear outside the cubicle will stunt the process, making it longer for anything to pass (making it just as bad as using a urinal!) Although I'm only 20, and still have a life ahead of me, I feel this condition has stripped me of any social life I've had thus far. Most of the times I try my best to avoid anything that requires me to go places I'm not sure of (such as sports events, or even the pubs which I miss to pieces!). It's not until tonight I've discovered the magnitude of people who have this problem, and it's gives me a sense of relief to know I'm not alone. In saying that, I would in no way wish this condition upon anyone. I've kept it a secret from my friends and family for this long, and although I'm sure they'd be supportive, I'm unsure if they'd understand and give the ol' "get over it" or "it's a phase that will pass" speech. It's a great relief talking to others who understand, and gives me a little extra confidence in being able to overcome this once and for all.