Who is the sycophantic Herbert who does these ? Basically every week..

" Mickey, we are so grateful you deigned to talk to us at all. Obviously, we were really good and deserved to win."

"Well yes"

"So are there lots of positives?"

"Of course. We take the positives for next week".

" So will you take the positives forward to next week?"

"Yes".

"So on a scale of nine to ten, how unlucky were we not to win that?"

"Nine."

"Two more lucky goals for yhe opposition but other than that, how well did we defend ?"

"Really well."

"Thanks for your time. Would you like me to wash your car with my tongue ?"

"Yes please.Don't be long."