Please see that this gets posted on Floyds barbershop bulletin board next to the Falcon Keeper opening.

Needed for immediate opportunity.
Head Coach for the Philadelphia Eagles football club.
Experience: Must be knowledgeable in all aspects of professional football, including proper air amounts in footballs, how to speak in a headset, how to spit on the ground without leaving any remnants on your chin, proper clipboard holding etiquette, and proper slapping of players but-tocks at appropriate times.

Blacks, Women, and Transvestites will be given preferential consideration in keeping with the "Rooney Rule" and Federal Fair Employment Laws.

Please send all Resumes to.
Philly Football Club Inc.
Philly Penn.
c/o: Ben Dover, Human Resources Manager.