National News Wire

Dateline-Mayberry, North Carolina
By: Nuz Buttley, Investigative Reporter


There is an old saying that goes something like this – Politics makes strange bedfellows. Events transpiring of late in the sleepy little town of Mayberry, North Carolina are proving that saying very true.

If you follow my column on a regular basis you are familiar with all the preparations going on in Charlotte, North Carolina regarding the upcoming political convention scheduled to begin September 3. North Carolina is a battleground state that the party cannot afford to lose if it wishes to retain control of the Senate and White House. The party has been working feverishly doing anything and everything to win votes in the Old North State. Now it seems its efforts are turning toward the more rural small towns, like Mayberry.

This morning I received a phone call from a trusted operative within the party wanting me to help him “get the word out” about how they are going to “distribute their wealth” to small town America. This operative told me that the party was spending millions of dollars on the convention and decided what better way to get the attention of rural North Carolina than to use a small town bank to funnel all their expenditures through. He said that after a few phone calls, party organizers were given the name of an investment firm/holding company called CFBM, Inc. a/k/a CFBM Corporation. A quick check with the N.C. Secretary of State found that the initials stand for “Citizens For A Better Mayberry”. Supposedly this corporation was formed for the express purpose of re-opening the Mayberry Security Bank. Further research found that the old bank had closed a few months ago amid controversy surrounding its manager, a Mr. Meldrin. Ironically, once the bank was re-opened, Mr. Meldrin was once again placed in charge by CFBM. My contact in the DNC went on to say that several of the board members of CFBM, Inc. were known supporters of the party and were contacted immediately to see if they would be interested in operating as the conduit for all the money the party is spending in Charlotte. Apparently it did not take CFBM long to embrace the idea. It seems that the new Mayberry Security Bank has struggled since opening and the principals in the corporation saw the DNC infusion of cash as a way to make their investment pay off quickly as well as assisting the party in its bid to win the support of rural North Carolina. According to my contact, checking and savings accounts have already been opened for the DNC at the small bank in Mayberry and large sums of money are flowing in and out at a fast pace, making everyone at the bank and CFBM extremely happy.

You might think the story would end here, but it does not. Over the last few months the DNC has made no secret of it’s support for labor unions, going so far as to demand that all contractors seeking to provide goods and services for the upcoming convention had to be unionized before they were given any consideration at all. Apparently the CFBM and Mayberry Security Bank were no different. When asked how the party planned to handle the historically non-union citizens of Mayberry, my contact responded that it really was no problem at all. Apparently the Service International Employee’s Union (SIEU) sent a recruiter to CFBM as well as the Mayberry Security Bank in an effort to win their support. According to my contact, much to the surprise of the union organizers, the tasked turned out to be an easy one once it was mentioned that all members of the union would receive an all expense paid trip for two to the national convention in Atlantic City, courtesy of the party. Apparently that was all it took as he secured the enrollment of all bank employees as well as a majority of the officers of CFBM. In order to not create a public uproar in the small historically non-union town, the organizers swore all of the new SIEU members to complete secrecy regarding their new connection with the union, vehemently stressing that admitting the role of the unions in bank operations would lead to immediately cessation of the arrangement. All bank and CFBM employees pledged to keep quiet no matter who tried to get information from them.

One can only wonder what will happen in the conservative little town of Mayberry, NC once the locals learn that their beloved bank is now nothing more than a tool of the DNC and the labor unions! As I said in the beginning, “Politics makes strange bedfellows”, especially in Mayberry!

Nuz Buttley reporting