Today April 13, 2012 marks a sad day in the history of Mayberry Security Bank. It is the final day of employment for our long time bank guard Mr. Asa Breeney. We wish Asa well in retirement as well as good health in his few remaining years.

Applications for the job of bank guard are now being taken at the bank. Due to new employment restrictions, applicants must be less than 90 years old, own their own functioning firearm, and be able to remain awake during working hours. Applicants must also be married and demonstrate a settled home life. If you meet these criteria and are interested in a career in the security field, we would love to talk with you.

Mr. Meldrin
Mayberry Security Bank