by Colonel Harvey

Ladies of this fine outstanding committee, let me say first of all how grateful I am for Miss Bee's invitation to address such a august group of Mayberry citizens, and what a deep pleasure it is for me to be here with you today.
I have visited many small communities, lived amongst savage Indians, but have never found any people more gracious here than anywhere in my travels.
Therefore, I want to show my appreciation by giving each fair lady here a free complimentary sample of my elixor, which will put the zest back into your life, and I hope in the future will cure any of your woes. Now, I must go; yes, I have many travels ahead.
Goodbye, and I thank you.