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that LA attorney Yoyo Dynamic -- also known as The Ambernath Arnie Becker -- admitted to his maid Rosalita that the crispy sock she found underneath the bed was indeed stiff with years of spunk. Sources also believe from previous conversations that the primary imagery used to generate loads was wikipedia pictures of Nancy Pelosi and black and white photos of Madonna's hairy armpits.

This confirms earlier reports and speculations that Dynamic continues to be crippled by compulsive onanism. More information to follow as the story develops.

THIS HAS BEEN BBC BREAKING NEWS.