But I wanted to say that lonely and broken hearted never goes away for those of us in this situation. I don't wish on my worst enemy. In 1964 we brought home the joy of our life and had him for 53 years. He was a mans man. Could and would give you a good fight if that was your desire and could rebuild old vintage cars and then give them away.
He was worried about his mama and me and did not tell us he was sick until the end was at hand and then he called to tell us he was dying. He had his sister to drive 200 miles to be with us when he told us. He lived 400 miles from us so we did not get to see him very often. He had made us proud by serving 20 years in the Air Force and now his son is in training at Fort Drum to be a Army Ranger.
He planned his funeral and part of the plan was for his ashes to be split 50/50 in my casket and his mamas casket.
His ashes which I refuse to look at sets on a shelf in the closet. They bring me no joy or company. If we lose our daughter I am ready to join them in death and maybe be with them in Heaven.
Please excuse my use of the Board for my personal release of agony and pain.