8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I
didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the
snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it
objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy
fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen
8:22 - The transgender
man..women...person...it...thing asked why I
didn't just make one snow person with detachable
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane
complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are
food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the
snow couple is white.
8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the
snow couple a different color and be more
8:37 - Accused of using a black face on the
8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road
demanded the snow woman be covered up.
8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that
the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be
removed because it depicted women in a domestic
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and
threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was
asked if I know the difference between snowmen
and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now
called a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist,
racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent
on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My
children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything
marched down the street demanding for me to be
9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the
negative association with work that had been all
over social media.
10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted
to do was build a snowman...
Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what
this world has become because of a bunch of
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