Wife to husband: "Wake up! I hear a noise downstairs. Get your gun and go check it out."
Husband get up, gets his gun and slips down the stairs. In a couple of minutes he comes back into the bedroom.
Wife: "Was there someone downstairs?"
Husband: "Yes! He said if I didn't get my butt back up stairs and go back to bed he was gonna call the Governor and the police and tell them that I still had my gun."