Jesus mate.
Hope your ok like.

Tough break, chief. Hopefully you have good people around you..

That's shit mate. Look up liveration on youtube and get some solo live in van action on the go.

Not Live Ration btw. It's a play on a word. Learn from the mistakes of others

sorry to hear mate - ive been lucky not to have to go through one but ive seen the stress it puts on mates while been through it - take care of yourself

my 20 year anniversary today.

Neither of us have said a word to each other really!

Sounds horrendous. Good luck with it mate. Glad you brought it on here. Some good advice- followed by potentially cathartic slagging offs of ex partners in general - will no doubt be forthcoming.

So Sorry to hear that Drexx

Also this place comes into its own with this kind of support. I'm proud of you all.

Sorry to hear this, mate. 34 years longer than mine lasted, so can't give you great advice really as I was over it in a few months and didn't have all those years in the bank. I found that connecting with mates, doing sports (football, tennis, golf, running for me) and just getting straight back out there was a big help although I probably also overdid the ale and partying side of things.

Ultimately (and this is with the benefit of hindsight so no great help in the moment), it was the event that precipitated me landing my first post-grad job, gaining financial security (in part as I no longer had a shopaholic millstone around my neck but also a good change in lifestyle), gaining a sense of calm that I never realised I'd lost in the first place, finding the person I was meant to be with, getting back to being close to my family and roots, and just in general being a much happier person.

In short, it feels like utter shit now but whenever something good happens in future - and it definitely will - you'll be able to acknowledge it probably would not have happened had your circumstances not changed.

In the short term, I'd see if a mate who is willing to listen wants to meet for a pint. Hopefully you can vent a bit which is really cathartic in the short term.

All the best with it.

Really sorry to read this Drex, me and the fortunate one came VERY close to this a few years back. I was utterly destroyed it was a brief separation that we resolved but it came out of the blue and I was hit by that harder than ANY hand that has been dealt to me in life, including deaths in the family and of friends, my own cancer thing this year.

It shook me to my core. BUT before we resolved things and AFTER the initial shock to the system (I didnt realise quite how much my marriage/relationship had become such an anchor to my own self identity after 20yrs, it felt like i was experiencing a form of my own death) I managed to start to give my head a wobble and before we resolved it I started to get over the initial shock and get my head ready for the new reality and knowing how lucky I was with the people I did have in my life and the fact it happens all the time and sometimes people never look back I became much less "broken". We did sort it all out in the end but I do think that me getting my head straight helped me be able to do that AS WELL AS being able to look to a different future with a more positive outlook.

Sorry for rambling on but the point I wanted to make was that after the initial shock to the system that you MUST get yourself looking forward, counting the blessings you do have and bit by bit you can feel more proactive as opposed to all caved in. I am quite a strong but fk me, that fking did me for a while.

Good luck mate

So sorry to hear this.

Best of luck for your future. I won't ask you anything about such a private matter, but stay strong, Drex.

20 years for me, I thought I wanted it at the time but it still hurt like hell. I was determined I wasn't going to let it make me go down though and neither was I going to be so lonely that I ended up desperate to take her back when she changed her mind.

I ploughed myself into the house, the dogs and the dating sites (with hindsight a little bit too early for that one).

Six months passed by quickly and by the time she had got bored of her freedom and was sniffing around to come back I had already met the woman who would eventually become my second wife (alright we'd only had a couple of dates at the the). By nine months I was the one looking forward to the future and she was the one stuck regretting her original decision.

One been remarried for over 4 years now, to a woman I truly don't deserve. Despite a load of health problems, I am happy and she looks after me way more than the other one ever would. The only downside is I had to move to Skem to be with her🤣, but even that has opened me up to more friends and new family and close friends than I've ever has... Ive even reconciled a decade long feud with my brother's and sister in that time and become closer to them than at any time in my life previously.

Just to show you fella, that even at is lowest points, line can still throw you up unexpected wins.

I think its important to have a good support network of friends or family.
You will need good, impartial advice re: financial matters too.
Best of luck, it's such a traumatic time for you.

My advice after she left me suddenly (20 years) is that for me it felt like a bereavement and I treated it as such even though she ripped me off financially. Give yourself time and space to process your new situation and don’t make any major decisions for a while. I rented a flat for 12 months whilst I decided what I wanted from my life. Good luck mate and take care of yourself.

Awful stuff, feel for you. 34 years here and sailed close to the wind a few times, absolutely sickening feelings to go through. Just remember to look after yourself as others have said here.

Sorry to hear mate feel free to send a note if you need to vent

Can't imagine how that must feel.

Best wishes pal.

Gutted for you mate

I don't know your circumstances but I'd be gutted for myself in that situation. Hope your OK

Thailand for chrimbo ?

I’m really sorry to hear that, hope you are as okay as can be at this time

Not taking the p!ss but immediately find something to fill your time, we separated out of the blue 6 years ago and if it wasn’t for going for walks for my mental health and going to the gym I dread to think where I’d be