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How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Spart User icon on August 20, 2026, 10:02 am

I admit I don't take mass every second weekend at the church on Regent Road as much as I should do and I rarely donate to church funds through any of the various schemes available.

But, I do have a deep loathing for anyone that declares themself to be 'a massive red', I do believe that St Gerrard was the anti-christ, and I live my life by a motto taken from Labone Chapter 10, verse 1 that one of us is worth twenty of them.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Zuma User icon on August 20, 2026, 9:23 pm, in reply to "How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

I’ve taught my toddler to sing Duncan had a pigeon.

I’ve walked out of two weddings when ‘that’ song was played. Stayed stoic for it during a funeral though.

“Even little baby ones” is one of my favourite modern Everton lines.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by backbingham User icon on August 20, 2026, 9:28 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

"Even little baby ones" proper tickles me every time I hear it!

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Est__1878 User icon on August 20, 2026, 4:26 pm, in reply to "How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

Extreme fundamentalist and getting worse with age

https://theblockaff.org/

https://www.cwgc.org/

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by backbingham User icon on August 20, 2026, 4:24 pm, in reply to "How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

I'm approaching 70 and getting more rabid about those bastards than ever, growing mellow with age definitely isn't the case were those twats are concerned!

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Aberblue1 User icon on August 20, 2026, 4:27 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

I can confirm this.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by sad ken User icon on August 20, 2026, 3:32 pm, in reply to "How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

Even if I jibbed going the match , and I’ve pondered it most years in the last decade, I’d still loathe them, and to be honest it’s the supporters more than most of the players.

When I see a small kid in one of their kits I can’t help thinking “you little twat”.
Obviously my wife thinks I’m somewhat deranged, but even she hates them now by some kind of osmosis.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Heebee_GB User icon on August 21, 2026, 2:27 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

My misses has got into me on holiday whistling ‘🎶Kopites are gobshites’🎶 whenever I see a little gremlin in a RS top.

“If this Iranians got the ####ing dough that he claims we have, we want ####ing Mourinho lad and if not Mourinho we want ####ing Pellegrini right. Everton aren’t we ey, EVERTON ARENT WE!?”

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Est__1878 User icon on August 20, 2026, 4:28 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

A while ago in Tesco I saw a toddler in a trolly at the adjacent till drop his McDonalds balloon

I was about to pick it up for him but noticed he was in their baby tat - so it stayed on the floor

https://theblockaff.org/

https://www.cwgc.org/

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by backbingham User icon on August 20, 2026, 9:16 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

Top work right ☝️there!!!

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Kenny User icon on August 20, 2026, 4:02 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

Ha ha

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by TeddyBoy User icon on August 20, 2026, 3:45 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

"the little twat" made me laugh as I'm the same.

My wife came with me to my Uncles funeral a couple of years ago, I warned her he was a red and if they played THAT song in the Crem I would get up and walk out, she didn't believe me.

They did, so I did as promised, with an almighty unintentional slam of the door as well.

It's fair to say, it didn't go down well.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Efcman User icon on August 20, 2026, 12:44 pm, in reply to "How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

full on.

ive got a 10 year old so i see it through his eyes and the shite he has to put with at school with a load of "neverbeenthematch" tellyclapping redrag wearing gobshites.*

hes got his first game as a season ticket holder on saturday so as far as im concerned that makes him a football jedi compared to his classmates.

*who go to jamie webster boss nights and legends games so they can pretend they are footy fans.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Cahben User icon on August 21, 2026, 7:59 am, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

Oh mate don’t worry they will get it

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Spart User icon on August 20, 2026, 12:58 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

Excellent stuff....give my regards to your little padawan (EFC man kenobi ?) for his first game on Saturday

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Efcman User icon on August 20, 2026, 1:03 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

👍 will do.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Hilldickson User icon on August 20, 2026, 10:28 am, in reply to "How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

Whenever and where meeting people who are not from here they are told almost immediately I'm a blue so don't assume I'm one of the other shower

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Scooby_blue User icon on August 20, 2026, 1:24 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

Two things about scousers everyone notices

1. They always tell you they’re ftom Liverpool

2. They always tell you which team they support.

Football means more and all that

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Heisenberg Blue User icon on August 20, 2026, 3:59 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

Utter shite

"When I think of Everton, I think of Howard Kendall"

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by sad ken User icon on August 20, 2026, 3:39 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

Have to disagree, with the second one. I’d never volunteer the information unless someone asked me.

Naturally every redshite will tell anyone they meet who they support within 5 seconds of meeting them.
How do you know someone supports them ? Don’t worry they will tell you straight off as it’s an extension of their personality.

If someone doesn’t talk football when I meet them it’s a massive relief really, saves me getting in a bad mood and calling them a cunt.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Scooby_blue User icon on August 20, 2026, 4:25 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I think footy does mean more in Liverpool than elsewhere

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Larry_David User icon on August 20, 2026, 10:19 am, in reply to "How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

I genuinely believe that being a Kopite is indicative of a flawed character. It's amazing how many people I've had immediate bad vibes off or disliked/thought they were weird on first impression who turn out to be "massive reds". It's uncanny.

Otherwise not really. I cringe at the 'not wearing red/drive a red car' stuff that grown fellas participate in, and I'm pretty much over our failure to win a trophy in 26/27 and 27/28 already.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Bootscooter User icon on August 20, 2026, 1:11 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

I've really tried to persuade myself with the whole "they don't own the colour" thing, but I just can't get past it, and it grows stronger year by year.

Especially living down here in Dorset, the performative Red Men bollox annoys me so much ; I don't whether it's the carrot-crunching, redshite tat wearing locals who've never been to the ground, or the fat, overly self-confident, redshite tat wearing grockles who've never been to the ground that piss me off the most.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Larry_David User icon on August 20, 2026, 1:56 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

It's that badge that does it for me rather than the colour red. Everyone knows and has known countless Kopites, there's no way I'm letting them claim a colour as well as atmosphere/singing/banners/socialism/caring more about football than everyone else.

Agree with the point below as well - I struggle not to sneer even if the kit is being worn by a 5 year old cos I immediately know their dad is a massive fist.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Efcman User icon on August 20, 2026, 12:34 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

i dont wear red and wont have a red car.

this is completely normal behaviour for anyone who has spent their lives being close to red shites and their 100% unwarranted superiority complex*

the colour red is linked to (as an example) seeing pricks on holiday wearing RS tat and is now hardwired to make me cringe. i actually disklike the actual colour after 55 years on this earth and 50 of them supporting EFC.

*theres nothing laudable about watching a game of footy on a dodgy box and buying a shirt off a chinese website. that doesnt = football fan. certainly not to the extent that they think it gives them the right to go around patting people on the head for not doing the same as them.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by bigsteefc User icon on August 20, 2026, 3:26 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

It’s genuinely just a shit colour isn’t it , nothing to do with kopites.
I mean who wants to go out dressed like fuckin Michael Portillo.

1=20

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by newbie User icon on August 20, 2026, 12:26 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

Spot on, this. Number of times I’ve been introduced to someone or even just sat near them in the boozer and thought “wanker” and it turns out they’re a know-all kopite, it’s incredible.

Years ago when I was bang into footy and followed Everton everywhere I hated Liverpool; now I’m not really interested in the sport (still want Everton to do well but I don’t watch it any more and haven’t been a match for about five years) but my dislike for them is the one constant. I still can’t see someone walking down the street in one of their minty tops without thinking ‘knobhead.’ Even if it’s a kid.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by sad ken User icon on August 20, 2026, 3:47 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

“know-all kopite”

Perfect description.

Building a new stadium you say ?

Suddenly they’re an expert on urban planning, crowd dynamics, civil engineering and world heritage sites.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by Beldale blue User icon on August 20, 2026, 7:56 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

Also see

The nuances of South American languages and customs.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by newbie User icon on August 20, 2026, 5:09 pm, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

A few years ago when there was a load of guff going on with Moshiri and that bulb in the Guardian was writing about us every 5 minutes I had some kopite (friend of a friend, literally never met him before in my life) spend ten minutes explaining to me why the new ground would never be built, finishing off with a conspiratorial, look-round-to-make-sure-nobody-was-earwigging “…and I personally know FOR A FACT that they had to find new auditors to sign off the accounts.” I said “yeah so do I because I read it in the paper same as you, but unlike you I’m not really arsed.” He didn’t speak to me after that.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by gaizka6 User icon on August 20, 2026, 10:28 am, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

They are all mad.

It’s a cult.

Even the “nice” ones.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by santo_1878 User icon on August 20, 2026, 10:23 am, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

Oh i won't have a fucking thing red in the house me not a chance! And as for wearing it.......

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by bignev User icon on August 20, 2026, 10:13 am, in reply to "How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

I was to young to enjoy the Holy Trinity so feel I missed out on that, but I espouse their virtue at every opportunity to heathens

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by santo_1878 User icon on August 20, 2026, 10:13 am, in reply to "How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

Im as blasé as I've ever been about everton, for reasons we've all done a billion times, amongst fellow evertonians. But the older I get I've conversely never been as aggressive when defending them with kopites. I just go from A to Z now and whatever way it goes from there it goes, I cannot be arsed and won't put up with any perceived hair-ruffling or condescension from the bastards. It works a treat they keep the ball away from me most weeks in the local now.

Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?

Posted by StringerBellend01 User icon on August 20, 2026, 10:15 am, in reply to "Re: How much of an Evertonist Fundamentalist are you?"

This. The fair weather kopite wool wankers in work don’t even engage anymore really, except to be nice but are still given a ripping for that. They deserve both barrels and I love giving it to the cunts. AMEN

I wanna moonwalk son but life’s a shithouse

579

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