First a bit of background. There is a woman over in the US near Alberqueque who has a very similar gmail address to mine. Google in its infinite wisdom sometimes sends her emails to me and for years I have been receiving her mother's care home bills, her book club membership stuff, etc.

Once I got a message from what was clearly a close friend so I used that opportunity to email back the friend and pass on the message to this woman to let her know what was happening so she could do something about it, but still they come.

Anyway, it looks like she is now divorced and looking for love, because this morning I have awoken to a flurry of messages between her and a swarthy Latino type called Escobar. They've clearly recently met online and are in the early stages of flirtation. Escobar has sent her a picture of himself which looks like it was taken in the bathroom mirror, but mercifully for now he hasn't opted for the dick pic.

Stay tuned, this could get juicy.