You have got to be shitting me!?!
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: Ozzy Osbourne has become a health columnist for The Sunday Times.
:
: "When The Sunday Times magazine asked me to be its new
: health-advice columnist - Dr. Ozzy, as I'll be known from now on
: - I thought they were taking the piss, to be honest with
: you."
:
: "But then I thought about it for a while, and it makes
: perfect sense: I've seen literally thousands of doctors over my
: lifetime, and spent well over £1m on them, to the point where I
: sometimes think I know more about being a doctor than doctors
: do. If people can learn from my stupid mistakes without having
: to repeat any of them, or if they can take some comfort from the
: crazy things my family has been through over the years, or if
: just hearing me talk about colonoscopies makes them less
: embarrassed about getting tested for colon cancer, that's more
: than enough for me."
:
: "Dr. Ozzy" will answer readers' questions in his
: weekly column.
:
: "By all accounts, I'm a medical miracle," Osbourne
: said. "When I die, I should donate my body to the Natural
: . It's all very well going on a bender for a
: couple of days - but mine went on for 40 years. At one point, I
: was knocking back four bottles of cognac a day, blacking out,
: coming to again, and carrying on. While filming 'The Osbournes',
: I was shoving 42 types of prescription medication down my neck,
: morning, noon and night - and that was before all the dope I was
: smoking in my 'safe' room, away from the cameras. Meanwhile, I
: used to go through cigars like they were cigarettes."
: