As we observe a special day of thanksgiving tomorrow, I want to include in my prayers a special thanks to all of you whom I consider life-long friends. I thank you for your friendship and support and your contributions to this message board.
Meri and I are visiting family in Oregon this week (we have a mean ogre watching the house so don't try to break in there.) We traveled by commercial air and had a mostly great experience. Although I was very apprehensive over the media's attacks on the new TSA screening process, I'm happy to report that in Denver at least, there were no issues with pat-downs or invasive scans. We breezed right through.
However, I think we've all heard the now-famous quote from a recent passenger who admonished TSA by saying: "DON'T TOUCH MY JUNK." Sometimes a line like that just catches my ear and a song pops out. So here ya go:
DON’T TOUCH MY JUNK
To the tune of “Don’ Fence Me In”
Parody lyrics by Bob Haworth
© 2010 Three Cats Music, BMI
YOU CAN MAKE ME STAND IN A LINE
FOR 7 HOURS – I DON’T MIND
BUT DON’T TOUCH MY JUNK
TAKE MY BELT, TAKE MY SHOES
EVEN THAT I WON’T REFUSE
BUT DON’T TOUCH MY JUNK
WITH YOUR HAND ON MY THIGH
YOU SAY YOU’RE LOOKIN’ FOR EXPOLSIVES
THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYE
MAKES ME QUESTION YOUR MOTIVES
MY HEART’S POUNDIN’ LIKE A LOCOMOTIVE
SO DON’T TOUCH MY JUNK
AND NOW YOUR HAND’S GETTIN’ CLOSER
I SAY “NO SIR” BUT YOU SAY I MUST COMPLY
YOUR GENTLE TOUCH MAKES ME NERVOUS
IT’S A SERVICE THAT IS HARD TO JUSTIFY
IF I HAD BOMBS IN MY SHORTS I THINK YOU’D KNOW IT
THE LOOK ON MY FACE WOULD SURELY SHOW IT
JUST GET ME ON MY FLIGHT BEFORE I BLOW IT
AND DON’T TOUCH MY JUNK
Safe travels everybody, and happy Thanksgiving!
Bob
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