OK, Ron - now I know I have at least two ears out there. In response to a very clever e-mail I received last week, I took the liberty of paraphrasing it in song form. Goes like this:

CAN YOU GET ME IN?
Words & Music by Bob Haworth
Copyright 2006 Three Cats Music, BMI

MR. PRESIDENT, WON’T YOU LEND A HAND
I WANNA TAKE A TRIP TO A FOREIGN LAND
AND I KNOW YOU’VE GOT THE PULL TO GET ME IN
I DON’T WANNA BOTHER WITH LEGALITIES
NO PASSPORTS OR VISAS, IF YOU PLEASE
CAN YOU GET ME THE SAME DEAL THERE AS WE GIVE THEM?

CHORUS:

SO CAN YOU GET ME IN? CAN YOU GET ME IN?
I MIGHT STAY FOR AWHILE AND PRETEND I’M A CITIZEN
BUT I DON’T WANNA LEARN THEIR NATIVE TONGUE
AND I WON’T PAY TAXES – THAT’S NO FUN!
I’LL BE WAVIN’ OLD GLORY IN THE STREETS
IF YOU CAN GET ME IN

NOW I PLAN TO TAKE THE WHOLE FAMILY
ALL MY COUSINS, MY SIBLINGS AND EVEN AUNT BEA
WE’D ALL LIKE JOBS AND A REAL NICE PLACE TO LIVE
I WANT MY KIDS IN AN ENGLISH SPEAKING SCHOOL
I WANT FOOD STAMPS AND HEALTH CARE – I’M NO FOOL
‘CAUSE ALL THAT STUFF IS MY PREROGATIVE!

CHORUS

(TAG LINE NOW PLEASE MR. PRESIDENT – CAN YOU GET ME IN?