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Chapter Thirty-Six
The week between Christmas and New Years flew by. Nora and Bo just enjoyed spending time together after the many months apart. They had dinner out a few times, visited her parents and grandparents, took in a movie, and, of course, made love...lots of love. It was like a second honeymoon with the exception that they had to be a little more creative due to Nora’s condition...but, that was fun too.
Because their marriage had been brief before Bo left for the front, it took a few days to fall into the pattern of living together again...and sleeping together again. Bo had forgotten that Nora was a cuddler with a foot fetish. She would drape her thigh across his leg and rub her feet against his. He didn’t mind...kind of liked it actually...but asked her about it one night.
“Why do you do that foot thing? Are your feet cold?”
“Does it bother you?” she asked suddenly pulling them back.
“No...it’s just...different, that’s all…”
“Oh? So you’re saying none of your previous women liked foot snuggling, is that it?”
Bo shook his head slowly. “I’m not even going to answer that.”
She occasionally threw out a remark in an attempt to find out more about his past loves. He never took the bait, however. Rather, he would remind her that he didn’t find what he was looking for until he met her. She liked the compliment, but it didn’t do much to assuage the curiosity.
She entangled her feet with his again and went on, “My foot fetish...I think is a security thing.”
“You don’t seem insecure,” he remarked.
“Well, when I was little, we would go to visit my grandparents. You’ve seen their house...it has those tall ceilings and the dark furniture...anyway, they would put Susanna and I in a bedroom with red brocade wallpaper and mahogany furniture...it was very scary to me. So, I would snuggle up as close to Susanna as I could and snuggle my feet against hers.”
“And she let you do it? She doesn’t seem like the snuggling type.”
“No! She hated it! She’d push me away...‘Get away from me, you little leech’...very mean to me…”
“Typical sibling,” he remarked smiling into the dark. “Clint was mean to me too.”
“Oh...well...we can swap stories sometime…” she said knowingly.
Bo smiled, nodding his head.
“Anyway…” Nora went on quietly, “I would just wait until I k-n-e-w she was asleep...then I would i-n-c-h my feet over until they were touching hers again…” she said showing Bo with her feet how she would sneak them back. “She never knew! And then I could sleep peaceably!” she finished with a flourish.
Bo chuckled at her. He loved this...the conversations they shared with her head pillowed on his chest each night were priceless. Sometimes they were the hilight of his day. He imagined they brought him the same satisfaction as a smoker gets from a cigarette after sex...although he’d never tried that.
* * * * * * *
So, that week between the holidays had been a time of renewal and getting to know one another again. It had all been very pleasant until Bo was startled awake one night by one of his dreams.
It wasn’t the first dream he’d had since arriving home. It was just the first that had awakened Nora, or so he thought. Actually, she had noticed him being restless in his sleep a few times, but he always rolled over and slept on. Not on this night.
He jerked awake into the stillness covered in sweat. He saw the white ceiling of his bedroom above him and turned to see Nora resting peacefully by his side. He ran a hand through his hair. It was only a dream, he breathed in relief.
Quietly, he slipped from the bed and made his way to the bathroom where he rinsed his face and neck with cold water before going to the kitchen for a drink. He poured himself a bourbon, then slid back into bed sitting against the headboard to finish it.
Nora awoke to find Bo sitting up beside her, drink in hand, in the wee hours of the morning.
“Bo?” she said quietly. “Are you alright?”
He turned to face her. “Yeah, I’m fine, honey...just can’t sleep...guess I’m still getting used to these new hours. You get some sleep, though. I’m fine.”
“Bourbon at…” she peered at the clock in the darkness, “three o’clock in the morning? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” he said trying to hide his agitation. “I just can’t sleep. I’ll be fine. Just get some rest.”
She sat up and leaned against him.
“Bo, you’re sweating. Are you feeling feverish?”
“No! I told you I’m fine!” When he saw the hurt look on her face, he regretted sounding so harsh. “I’m sorry, honey...I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’ll be okay. I think I’ll just get up so that you can sleep.” He finished his drink quickly and made a move to get out of the bed. She stopped him by straddling his lap.
“No,” she said shaking her head. “Bo, please.” He looked past her across her shoulder with a faraway look. “Bo, look at me.”
He brought his eyes back to her then, but they still held a faraway look. He looked at the way she was sitting upon him, her auburn hair tousled with sleep, her white sleeveless nightgown hanging loosely over her rounded belly and draping over the sides of his hips. She looked like an angel. He ran his hands along the sides of her belly, then on either side of her face pulling her to him...kissing her...tasting her...she would make him forget...he would forget everything…
“Bo…” She pulled back.
He kept her face in a firm grip kissing her with more intensity, trying to erase the ugly dream from his mind.
“Bo...no…not now…” she said as he ran his hands under the nightgown and along her thighs.
“It will help us sleep,” he suggested.
“I don’t want to sleep. I want to talk.”
He sighed as he stopped his pursuit.
“Something is bothering you,” Nora started. “You seem different, and I’m worried...”
“I don’t want you to worry,” he interrupted.
“Bo. If I was moving frantically from one activity to the next every day trying to stay busy, waking up in a cold sweat at night, and drinking bourbon at three o’clock in the morning, you would be worried about me...wouldn’t you? You would want me to share my troubles with you. We’re friends as well as lovers, right? Why won’t you talk to me?”
“I don’t want to burden you,” he murmured.
“Your burdens are my burdens...and vice versa. For better or worse...remember? Please tell me what’s wrong.”
His eyes took on that faraway look again. After a few quiet moments, he spoke. “I have dreams,” he said, “of the battle...the last time I saw Sal.” He looked at her. “Sal was my best friend, you know, before I met you.”
She nodded her head and took his hands in hers. “You miss him,” she said.
“It’s more than missing him,” Bo said quietly. His voice broke as he said, “I killed him.”
Nora was taken aback by his statement. She shook her head slowly. “What do you mean” she asked him. “He encountered a land mine…”
“He did, but he wasn’t dead. I ran back to find him lying there with his legs... severed...but he was still alive,” Bo choked out. “He begged me to leave him there, he begged me. ‘Just go!’ he said. But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t leave him…”
Bo’s words were coming in a hurry now...almost as if it felt good to finally release them.
“So...I picked him up and threw him over my shoulder the way they trained us...I wanted to get him to some medics...or at least to a place where we could take cover...but...shots were firing all around us. I was hit in the arm and shoulder by enemy fire, and would maybe have taken shots through my heart...if I hadn’t been carrying Sal...Sal took the bullets instead of me because of how he was positioned over my shoulder...”
Tears had formed in Bo’s eyes as he told his story. He stared seeing nothing.
“So, you see….” he continued barely able to speak, “In my attempt to help him...I really killed him...if I hadn’t been carrying him, he would never have taken those bullets. In my effort to save him, I actually took his life...and Sal taking those bullets...saved mine…”
Tears were running shamelessly down his face now. “I don’t know what to do...I’ll never be able to forgive myself, Red. Oh God...help me…” He pulled her to him in a death grip and sobbed.
“God...why?...why?...”
She let him cry until he quieted some, and she cried with him; then she pulled back and took his face in her hands.
“Listen to me...shhhh...listen...” she soothed. She leaned her head on his forehead. “Rita showed me the report on Sal’s death, Bo. The cause of death was listed as loss of blood from his leg injuries. The bullets you mentioned didn’t penetrate his vital organs...the bullets didn’t kill Sal...you understand? It’s not your fault. The bullets that he took may have saved your life, but they are not what took Sal’s. I saw the report myself, sweetie...but I’m sure Rita would allow you to look at it if you like...it might make you feel better.”
Bo looked at her blankly. “You saw it yourself?” he asked her.
“Yes, Sweetheart, I read it to Rita the day it arrived...she was too upset to read it…”
When he said nothing, she continued. “So, you see...while you attempted to save Sal’s life, he saved yours. You were helping each other...just like friends do. You have no reason to feel the guilt you’ve been feeling...please let it go.”
It took a few moments for Bo to let all of this sink in. The sadness was still there, but the guilt was alleviated. It had been a burden he had carried for a long time.
Finally he looked back into Nora’s eyes. “Thank you,” he said “for listening and...everything.” Then after a moment he added, “You’re my angel, you know that?”
She started to shake her head when he stopped her.
“No...really. You know how talking to our baby got you through so many lonely nights? Well...thinking of you is what got me through those same lonely nights. You were everywhere with me...in foxholes as I slept under the moonlight, in shelled out buildings where the stars shone through the missing roofs, in the army hospital as I lay awake...it was your face I would see. It helped me through...and now, here you are helping me through with your words and encouragement. I love you, Red. I’m so glad we found each other...I just wish that I had found you sooner.”
Nora wanted to lighten the mood. She smiled. “Well...not much sooner I hope...that would have been illegal,” she quipped with wide eyes. “Then they would have come and taken you away from me!”
Bo smiled then. “I would have taken the risk,” he said pulling her closer.
She gasped. “You are bad, Bo Buchanan.”
“Isn’t that one of the things you like about me?” he teased once again running his hands under her gown.
She sighed…”Mmhmm.” She pulled herself closer on his lap. He snuggled his face against her neck as she wrapped her arms around him.
“You know,” she began, “I really need something to help me sleep tonight…”
“Oh?” he murmured kissing her and letting his hands wander beneath her gown. “I think I know of something that would help…”
“Me too,” she said kissing him seductively, “I was thinking about…a glass of warm milk,” she said quickly, giggling and pretending to leave the bed.
“Oh, no you don’t!” He pulled her back firmly, planting kisses along her neck. “What I have is a lot better than a glass of warm milk, and it’s guaranteed to not only put you to sleep, but to put you to sleep with a smile on your face!”
“Oooo...must be good stuff,” she said smiling.
“Oh...it is! You want it?” he asked huskily.
“Oh yes,” she breathed against his mouth. “I most definitely want it…”
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